When teens fall in love, usually the only thing at top of mind is how to be together as much as possible. The risk of teenage pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease isn't typically high on the mental checklist. This could be dicey when the possibility of sex enters the picture — no matter how sensible you are.
“If you love me, you’ll have sex with me.”
If you hear those words or some variation of them, you might want to ask yourself: “If he/she really loves me, why am I being pressured to have sex?”
This might be one of the toughest questions you have to deal with as a teenager. If you’re head over heals in love, you probably want to make your partner happy, and you want to feel happy, too, — so the hormonal impulse may take over to say yes to sex. Maybe you really feel in love and you think that sex is a great way to show it. You may be tempted to give in to the moment, ignoring any precautions or planning. It may be obvious that having a baby is a potential consequence of unprotected sex, but many teenagers don't think it will happen to them.
Of course, you might not feel ready to have sex because it’s a big emotional step. Or you might have the nagging worry you've heard from your parents or health class about HIV/AIDS, herpes, or chlaymidia. You may now be thinking “I should have paid more attention to the information about safe sex and birth control methods.” You may feel anxious, but push those feelings away because keeping the relationship feels more important right now.
What to do when feeling pressure to “give in”
It’s a perfect time to remind yourself: love and sex are NOT the same.
Love is NOT about pushing another person to have sex or feeling pressured. Love is about respecting and caring for someone.
Research has shown that teen girls who have sex at young ages tend to have low self-esteem, and may think having sex will make them seem more prestigious or desirable.
Love can include sex in teenage relationships, but it definitely doesn’t have to. Love is an emotion that can include feelings of romance and physical attraction. Emotional maturity plays a big part in the decision to be sexually active, and that is something that happens well into young adulthood. The longer teens delay having sexual relations, the better their self-esteem and confidence.
These days, it might seem cool to “hook up” with people to have sex. Movies, TV shows and edgy music videos sensationalize romance and sex without showing consequences. But while having sex may feel like the right thing to do, taking it lightly can sometimes be very bad afterwards.
