I don’t think I was ever strictly diagnosed with depression. But I do know that I am feeling the push of this mental illness.
It started in eighth grade when I was doing well in school, but was friends with some people who weren’t doing so hot in school. My parents and teachers urged me to “find new friends.” I started feeling like I had made a horrible lapse in judgment. I felt as though expectations were raised too high for me, and trapped between my faith in adults and the feeling that they would always be disappointed in me.
Then my grades began to suffer. I understood the material, but felt I couldn’t do the work, and frequently bargained with my teachers and ended up with C’s for late, mediocre work, which would only make things worse.
This spread into a much larger lack of motivation in my life – in addition to school, I became apathetic about almost everything.
My parents tried to encourage me to do, among other things, sports or exercise of some kind. I just pushed them away – what was the point? It felt like a waste of time.
Then one day, on a whim, I went outside and shot hoops. I felt surprisingly better – my spirits rose. And, then another day, I took a walk. Called up my friends to play wiffle ball. And every time I added just a tiny bit of physical activity to my life, my depression seemed to slip away.
It’s not surprising that I felt better. Exercise releases serotonin, a neurotransmitter thought to be linked to mood regulation. Even small amounts of activity – as little as 10 to 15 minutes at a time – can release muscle tension, and help you sleep at night, getting rid of symptoms such as anxiety, stress, sadness, self-doubt, and hopelessness.
Change – adding more exercise to your life and feeling better – doesn’t have to happen all in one day. I started biking to school and back, and doing other small steps here and there. While my depression doesn’t go away completely, these feel like steps in a positive direction for both my mental and my physical health.
Research shows that exercise causes an increase in blood flow to the brain and raises the amount of energy the brain uses.
I thought back to elementary school, when I was playing soccer and taking kung fu. I stopped doing kung fu in fifth grade and dropped out of soccer in the sixth grade. I tried football and baseball but neither of these sports lasted. I haven’t done a legitimate sport since then. I don’t think I can handle the commitment and the pressure, no matter what anyone says.
But casual, every day exercise, and being outside with my friends? Sure, that I can handle. So, maybe that’s the answer for me and other teens like me, who suffer from depression: a little dose of sunshine, a bit of outside activity, and hey, no pressure.
