Gratitude, dude.
I’m such a loser.
Why did I do such a stupid thing?
Wow, that was a dumb thing to say.
Do these words sound familiar? Like many of us, you’re probably your own worst critic – beating yourself up for something you did or didn’t do.
As it turns out, you’re not alone. People spend a lot of time silently complaining, ranting and raving. It’s been said that anywhere from 80 to 90 percent of a person’s internal daily dialogue is negative. This can contribute to anxiety and depression. It’s like a blues song playing over and over again. Some stress management experts call this “monkey mind” or “automatic negative thoughts” or your “inner critic.”
To deal with this common but sorry state of affairs, there are lots of good skills to practice that can help you notice, challenge or refute such negative thinking. These "positive thinking" skills require detective work: Is this thought really true? Is it rational? What’s the evidence for it? Is there another way to look at it or new meaning to be made?
But here’s the thing: As valuable as it is to reframe a nitpicky thought with something more rational or neutral, or to distract yourself with playful or relaxing activities, there is something else that is also quite positive, healing, and energizing: Notice the things you appreciate and are grateful for. It’s called the gratitude attitude.
This is not guilt tripping. It is simply acknowledging what you’re thankful for – small or big. It could be getting a warm greeting from a friend or teacher; that the sun came out or that it snowed today; finding a clean pile of laundry at the foot of your bed; or that a movie you saw was just hilarious and you laugh when you think about it. Or it could be more global, like “I’m glad to have clean water to drink.” Whatever it is, it’s something that is heartfelt.
HIGHER POWER
Studies have shown that meditation can reduce pain, and that prayer can effect healing. Prayer and meditation can help you to relax and take a mental time-out.
You may have heard of a gratitude journal – a diary where one can write down moments to be grateful for. It may sound too girly or like too much work. But really it is quite simple to acknowledge moments to appreciate – in your mind, on paper, or in an online journal. Writing, however, helps to solidify and expand your thoughts and feelings about why you feel grateful, and you can refer back to it. It also lifts your mood. Otherwise, it is all too easy to forget or overlook the small, happy moments of the day.
In fact, there is scientific research to support the benefits of gratitude. Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor at University of California-Davis, and his colleagues have conducted a number of studies on keeping a list or journal on gratitude – with children, young adults, and people with certain illnesses. What they found is inspiring. People who track what they are grateful for (compared to those who don’t):
- Report less physical complaints
- Feel better about their lives overall
- Are optimistic about the upcoming week
- Are more likely to have progressed on a goal (health, nutrition, exercise)
- Feel more enthusiastic, alert and energetic
- Are more likely to help another person with a personal problem or offer support
- Sleep better
- Show positive attitudes toward school and family
So give it a try. It certainly can’t hurt. We’ll make it easy for you. Start your journal in your My Page.
