Like most girls, I have had the misfortunate of experiencing first-hand just how mean other girls can be.  I found middle school and high school to be especially bad when it came to this.  I remember feeling so frustrated and hurt by other girls and their cliquey, exclusionary, and backstabbing behaviors.  Sometimes, even girls I had thought to be my friends would exclude me from their after-school plans or make hurtful comments behind my back.  While some girls may experience it worse than others, mean girls are a problem that almost every girl endures at some point during her teenage years.

For years, I let these girls affect how I felt about myself, until it dawned on me that maybe the defect is in them rather than me.  It’s a shift in thinking that didn’t come naturally, but as time has gone on, makes perfect sense.  Perhaps their behaviors reflect something they don’t like in themselves.  One reason girls are mean to each other is jealousy, so chances are you have something this girl wishes she had. It might be your good grades, cute clothes, confidence, or “I don’t care what you think” attitude.  This girl may be comparing herself to you, and sees herself as lacking in some way.  Therefore, she will try to put you down to feel better about herself.  This means that her actions are not necessarily a reflection of you – but rather they are her own insecurities surfacing, and she is taking them out on you.

Another realization that I had was that these girls are probably very unhappy inside.  A truly happy and confident girl would not need to be mean to others in order to make herself feel better – she would want to help lift others up, instead of put them down.  When you think about the mean girl in this light, it is easier to see her actions as sad and feel sorry for her that she has such an unhappy life, instead of letting her make you feel bad about yourself.

Once you understand some of the reasons mean girls act the way they do, and have trained yourself to view their actions differently, you can rise above these girls.

Do not let them change who you are, how you act, or your belief in yourself… just keep being wonderful.

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